Monday, July 2, 2007

ER visit

We were feeling a bit down last week, what with the slew of emails (okay, three) begging us to ease up on a certain well-endowed daily rag.

"Don't pick on the editor! He's very ill!"

"You know, she barely survived a car accident. You should cut her some slack!"

And our favorite –

"You stupid bastard! If you had to actually work here, you'd know how fucking hard it is and shut the hell up. Do you even have a job? You obviously don't have a life!"

True, all of it, as far as we can tell – certainly the "no life" bit rings the ol'accuracy bell – but we're used to that. In fact, we rather enjoy the odd tongue-lashing. We've even been known to attempt putting out fire with gasoline.

But adding to the suffering in the world? We abhor suffering. We change channels whenever we see it. We can barely suffer through the immature, convoluted and pompous writing eroding the our local rags like some unstoppable flesh-eating disease – a bottle of gin and a dose of the Dandy must be kept nearby at all times.

So we were understandably saddened to hear these dark tales. Rumor has it that a certain someone is on a bender (and we don't mean the redhead). Reporters are fleeing left and right (and we do mean the redhead). The salacious Christine Bensen-Messinger moved away... And with the boss out sick? Who will advise the governor? The president? We feared the free world and all we hold dear might collapse.

That's the pit of pain we found ourselves writhing in Friday night. But then, like the dawn of a new day... Saturday morning brought hope. "This Grand Jury report thing is all right!" we thought. Blue Lake Police Chief busted! Eureka Police trained to kill! Dog pound doing good! Yeah!

The kids'll be fine, just fine.

Which means we don't feel the slightest bit of shame in making fun of today's front page photo. What the hell? Dandelions? A rag? An intersection? Is this story about weeds on street corners? Litter? Loneliness? Despair?Was a mountain lion sighted near here?

Solomon's no O'Neill, but he's been giving it a decent go. Someone should remind him that a little relevance goes a long way.

9 comments:

Heraldo Riviera said...

If you had to actually work here, you'd know how fucking hard it is and shut the hell up.

Well, that explains today's "Features" page.

North Coast Post SUCKS!!! said...

You are indeed one stupid bastard. You have absolutely zero clue about journalism or photojournalism. You have no idea what a good photo is or what good journalism is.
Please, please shut down this rediculous, worthless blog before We The People do it for you.
You will not get many more warnings.

EkoVox said...

We The People does that service too? I thought they only did Divorces and Bankruptcies and things like that. Man, they are good!

The Postmaster said...

They'll even do your laundry if you make them a cup of coffee during the spin cycle.

Good photo? Good journalism? We know enough that we wouldn't take a picture – admittedly, a nice enough picture – that doesn't offer readers the slightest clue what the story is about. Free advice: check out the photo section of any of the major papers – NY Times, L.A. Times, even the SF Chronicle. You'll see how a photo can be both stunning visually and informative. Don't worry – you'll get it! Now get back out there, buddy and get those shots!

No need to thank us.

(And three!!! exclamation points? Wheeeeee!!! We're so flattered.)

anonymous said...

See it's responses like that which are making this blog so trashy.

I take great offense to your insulting comments. I just moved to Humboldt to retire after 37 years as a photojournalist all over the country. I have received no less than 48 awards for excellence in reportage and photography. I am extremely proud of my career and the thousands of hours of hard work I put into being the most effective visual storyteller and also being the most ethical and accurate journalist I can be.
For you to insinuate that I need a lesson in photojournalism is the most insulting thing anyone has ever said to me.
You should be glad that you didn't say that to my face because despite being in my 60's I can still kick anyone's ass and I don't take shit from cheap punks like you.

Heraldo Riviera said...

I have received no less than 48 awards for excellence in reportage and photography. I am extremely proud of my career

So proud that you call yourself "anonymous?" Funny.

EkoVox said...

Sigh, I wish I had my old Kodak Pocket Instamatic 110. That darn thing took some pretty good pictures. Like the one of my cousin lighting his fart with a book of matches. THAT one should have won an award.

To paraphrase Martin Scorsese; "You don't take photographs to win awards. The taking of the photograph IS the award."

Carson Park Ranger said...

Good times, good times.

Sandbox said...

I totally understand why the photo dude is pissed off.

I've been in the automotive industry since high school so when people try to tell me I don't know anything about cars I get pissed off.
I don't use terms like "ram air" or "plenum" because they sound cool, I use them because they describe air flow or part of the intake system.
The photo guy is probably feeling the same way I feel when people try to make me look stupid over what they think I should be allowed to know about cars.

Heraldo, it's "funny" that you don't give your real name. "Funny" that the Postmaster doesn't either. Or everyone else (with a few exceptions) that posts on these here blogs.
I for one don't want you freaks to know my name and you don't want me to know yours. It's just not safe and I don't blame anyone at all for wanting to remain incognito.
I think only an idiot would sign his name to an opinion.

I may be a younger person (in my 20's) but I at least was raised to respect my elders, Heraldo.

POT
KETTLE
BLACK
.