Tuesday, July 10, 2007

An average afternoon at the ER

"Um, excuse me... I don't know who to point this out to... I mean, there's not many of us left and Nathan's looking really worn out and I don't want to be the one to push him over the edge – "

"What is it, girl?! Spit it out already. I've reservations at Avalon in 15!"

"It's just that... Well, I've noticed that sometimes the headlines – "

"What about the headlines? I don't want to hear about the headlines! Now, where are my keys?"

"No, I mean, the headline, the front page headline... Well, sometimes the way they juxtapose over the front page photo..."

"You're killing me. Do you have a point? Who are you any way?"

"Um, the new intern... And, well, I just noticed that sometimes it's kind of funny, but not in a way we would want to be funny – "

"We do not want to be funny! We are serious! And I am serious about the fact that if I am not sitting in a window seat at Second and G with a martini in hand in ten minutes, you'll never intern in this town again!"

"Okay, so I noticed that we have this headline, "Local Girl Makes Good," overtop a photo of Shane Brinton."

"That communist?! What's he doing in our paper?!"

"Er, he's trying to bring John Edwards to – "

"Hush! Be quiet right now. I will not tolerate this! Who wrote that story?"

"Uh, Rebecca..."

"That short-timer! What does she care? What does anyone care? Everyone's running amok, thinking for themselves! What's happening to us?!"

"But... but... the headline about the 'Local Girl'... That's all I wanted to say... It looks like it goes with the Shane Brinton photo."

"Communism! Anarchy! What's next? Democracy?! Now, where the hell are my keys? You're on notice, intern!"

"It's just a minor layout adjustment!"

"Excuse me? Excuse me? What did you say?"

"Um... Adjust the layout?"

"You obviously don't know how things are done around here, do you? Well, let me give you a little lesson – guards! Guards! Take her away! Off with her head!... Ah, that's better. And here are my keys. Wonderful. Avalon, here I come. Oh, how the world will improve once I put my gin-colored glasses on... 'Change the layout,' indeed. Now that's funny."