What we have here...

From today's T-S' Good news, bad news (And have we mentioned how that title makes us cringe from a cliché-induced headache every Sunday?):

Roasts
"To the tree-sitter who postponed the felling of a redwood tree over U.S. Highway 101. If you're going to do it, do it. You spared the tree an extra three whole days..."

Yo, Rich! James already did this one.
(As did Heraldo.)

"...Loop should have waited in line with the rest of the crowd for the public comment period... Eureka Mayor Virginia Bass... was right to crack her gavel... but should have taken Loop to task as well."

What? No "Loop" puns? "Loop short-circuits crowd's temper"? "Bass out of the Loop"? (In fact, there's gotta be a Bass-Loop something in there somewhere, too! Hither to thy copywriters!)

Toasts
"To the Sequoia Zoo Foundation, which is hosting the Brew at the Zoo at 6 this evening..."

Well, isn't this awkward? See, BatZ took place last night. (Nice photo, Daniel. You're gonna work out real well.)

"To State Senator Pat Wiggins and State Assemblywoman Patty Berg and their Advertisement staffs, who worked hard this week to get their meaningful bills through their respective houses..."

Patty Berg? You mean this Patty Berg: "Eureka Assemblywoman Patty Berg's office said they hadn't heard about the legislation, even though she is on record as having voted for it" – that Patty Berg?