Friday, June 1, 2007

Journalism and good writing do not have to be mutually exclusive

Bringing policies up to date – a critique

We here at the NCP believe that while news stories differ stylistically from "creative" writing, a reporter should still strive to write in an interesting and compelling manner both as a courtesy to readers and to provide those readers an incentive to continue gleaning news from that particular source.

This proves especially true when writing an opinion column or features story.

For example, from today's T-S:

The office of the Humboldt County district attorney made public its “use of force” policy this week, after initially claiming it was not a public document. It was a good decision. Such a policy provides guidelines for use of force to reduce indecision in a crisis situation. Plus, as the California Peace Officers’ Association says, it helps create public confidence in law enforcement.

We also feel a sense of assurance that the county, before giving its approval for the district attorney to buy investigators eight AR-15 assault rifles, is asking for an updating and modernization of the use of force policy, and that Chief Investigator Mike Hislop is planning to ramp up weapons training for his people from once a year to four times a year.

The rationale for making sure that investigators have state-of-the-art equipment, including weapons, is sound. In a county such as ours, with a lot of wild remote corners hiding Mexican cartel pot farms and meth labs, officers should be ready for surprises.

But it’s important that, in its policy update, the district attorney’s office view its role as investigators and not enforcers. They’re not Lone Rangers, and have plenty of trained backup to support them.

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That's a lot of "its"/"it's," awkward phrasing and passive verbs. Granted, people talk in such a manner, but professional writing should be held to a higher standard.

Let's see if we can improve the T-S editorial.

The Humboldt County District Attorney’s office backpedaled from an earlier stance this week, making public its “use of force” policy after initially denying to release the document. We support this decision. Such a policiy not only provides guidelines for use of force to reduce indecision in a crisis situation, but also helps create public confidence in law enforcement.

We are also reassured that the county, before approving the district attorney's request to buy investigators eight AR-15 assault rifles, seeks an updating and modernization of the use of force policy, and that Chief Investigator Mike Hislop plans to ramp up weapons training for his people from once a year to four times a year.

Ensuring that investigators have state-of-the-art equipment, including weapons, is reasonable. With rural, remote corners hiding Mexican cartel pot farms and meth labs, officers should be ready for surprises.

But in its policy update, the district attorney’s office must remain investigators, not enforcers.


(Now, here we have a real problem. The final sentence is, “They’re not Lone Rangers, and have plenty of trained backup to support them,” but “They’re” and “them” refer to the “district attorney’s office,” which has heretofore been, correctly, reduced to the pronoun “it.” And how can "they" be "Lone Rangers"? If you have more than one ranger, then that ranger is no longer "lone"! Oh, what to do, what to do?...)

– we already have plenty of trained backup to support district attorney staff.

Enh. We tried.

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