Because we at the NCP are nothing if not fair

"The Journal" has at least one good thing going for it besides the acerbic wit and newsy bits of The Town Dandy.

(Perhaps it's his absence provoking our bitterness? Hmmm... No, it's definitely the regressive design change.)

But back to Helen SandersonHeidi Walters. This babe can write. Case in point:

"Been to Orick, lately? No, not through Orick, but to. Pulled over, parked the car, got out, stretched the legs and grazed on the sights? Certainly we're not posing this question to Orick's few hundred residents, nor to the handful of plucky merchants who daily tootle out of the hills to unlock storefronts, kick aside yesterday's dust and then, as the hours tock away, sit humming to themselves in the pin-drop silences between yammering roars of semis jake-braking on the 101."

Look'it them verbs go! "Tootle"? "Jake-braking"? Yum.

And, hell, she makes going to Orick sound like a fine idea.

Must be easy to be a cop in Arcata

Apparently the criminal mentality is exceptionally low in those parts.

Alleged 'tip jar bandit' arrested in Arcata Tuesday

The so-called “tip jar bandit,” an elusive figure who has been filching change from tip jars and Arcata Eye newspaper boxes... was allegedly identified and arrested by Arcata Police Department officers Tuesday night... Justin Rene Peron, 25, from Sonoma County, was arrested shortly before 8 p.m. Tuesday for providing false information to a peace officer... Peron is also in custody for three warrants out of Sonoma County.


Stupidity's legal, so heroin charges will do
“He asked if we had spoons,” Nelson said. “I told him we have plastic spoons in the
deli. He said, ‘No I need metal.’” She described the man as “frantic” for the spoon. Nelson led the man to housewares on aisle 4, and noticed that he wore a sandal on one foot and a shoe on the other, with a plastic bag hanging out of one sock.

(And, is there a qualitative difference between a tip jar and an Arcata Eye newspaper box?)

So much for sophistication

..."Apparently each new headline writer thinks he or she has invented an original pun, when actually it's been udderly overdone."

Um, like this?
Rail bill chugs to Assembly
County keeps safety on DA rifle request

Sigh.

That's where we've seen it before!

Perhaps the influence of the Media Maven?

Now that's Rich

"Since the Times-Standard could use some sophistication, we'll try for fewer udders in headlines in the coming months." – Rich Somerville on using headline puns 5/29/07

Somerville shares two "pun tests" he attributes to the late Ted Bernstein of the New York Times:

”The first is whether each of the two meanings of the word forming the pun is appropriate. ... The second test is based on the theory that the basis of humor is incongruity and unexpectedness. This means that the pun should not be obvious; it should not be just lying around waiting to be picked up. The best advice that can be given to the headline writer is to avoid the pun unless he is convinced that it is exceptionally good. If there is one thing that most newspapers need, it is more sophistication.”

Apparently someone at the ER thought Rich's advice was right on the money. On today's front page, for example: "Reel rewards".

Coincidence? Unusual choice for the 'porter, better known for such headlines as the cryptic "Harbor District commissioners to meet," the imaginative "Local doctor to be honored for youth oral care programs" and the oh-so-succinct "Dinner."

Well, humor in the ER was unexpected.

Getting lit in Humboldt County?

From the front page of the ER (only, in print, about the size of a breadbox): "Sunset at the Arcata Bird Marsh and Sanctuary — Humboldt Film and Digital Media Commissioner Barbara Bryant said locations such as these are a start..."

From the T-S: (italics ours): "A bill that would allow run-of-the-mill highway billboards to be replaced with spanking new electronic message panels apparently slipped through the cracks of the state Assembly recently... CBS Outdoor owns several signs on Highway 101 in Humboldt County... It sees a captive audience..."

Might compromise those pretty sunsets, hmmm? You'd think the ER's Nathan Rushton would've been on this story -- 'specially with his hard-hitting look at local tourism -- but looks like the Driscollator scooped him again. Should we expect another limp-wristed smackdown from GFS? "We hope the Times-Standard and Driscoll can learn from this mistake and change direction." Apparently, they didn't -- JD just keeps on reporting on stuff.

Jumping the snark

Because the departure of Captain Buhne left a hole in the Humboldt blogosphere...
Because in a sea of sincerity, someone must wave the flag of sarcasm...
Because amid the recording of our daily lives, someone must look outward...
Because while softball is charming and obsession is cute in a way, the media folk need something to read besides boring press releases...
So arises the North Coast Post!

Wherever you find lame headlines, we will be there.
Wherever you find masturbatory media, we will be there.
Wherever you find backasswards graphic design, we will be there.

The North Coast Post.

The Captain is dead! Long live the Captain!